


Blur of Youth

by LissyStage



Category: Junjou Romantica
Genre: Alternate Universe - Age Changes, BL, Canon Gay Relationship, College/University, Denial, Fluff and Angst, High School, M/M, Multi, Underage Drinking, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-27
Updated: 2015-04-02
Packaged: 2018-02-18 22:29:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2364365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LissyStage/pseuds/LissyStage
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was a typical day for one Takahashi Misaki, up until Takatsuki Shinobu dragged him to a party held on Mitsuhashi University's campus.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Divergence

**Author's Note:**

> Warning(s): WIP. BL. Cursing. Alcohol. Teenage issues. Ya know, first world problems. Bad Greek. Improper use of American things in a Japanese setting? OOC, maybe?
> 
> Note(s): So, this is yet again another pet project of mine. Please, enjoy!

"Shinobu," Misaki quietly murmured, hands locking on his friend's arm in a desperate plea matched by the following words: "Can we  _please_  just go back to your house?"

"And just why would we do that when we just arrived?"

"Because we shouldn't be here anyway, and this is a  _college party_ , besides?"

The enormous structure of the Epsilon Omega Sigma _(1)_ fraternity house seemed to loom over the pair of lone high school students, and Misaki couldn't help his nervous gulp at its staggeringly intimidating visage. He carefully moved a few steps back until he was standing directly behind Shinobu, sidestepping over a discarded yellow flyer being clung to by the abnormally green grass in the process. With a grunt of irritation at his friend's inability to act the part of a proper shield, Misaki stood on his tiptoes just enough to peer over the taller brunet's shoulder.

It was a simple, two-story building, just large enough to fit all the members of the obviously popular fraternity's members at a reasonable level of comfort, with the added plus of plenty room to spare. Windows lined the perimeter of the house's front, undoubtedly mirroring the amount found on each other side of the building, eclectic paints and ornaments splattering several of the ones Misaki could see. The boastful images depicted on the windows were ones denoting the many prides of Mitsuhashi University, including their technical sciences and research department, as well as the Historical Society and sports teams.

Following soon after were the walls themselves, a single shade of robust grey that struck a sharp divergence from the overall atmosphere of the building, the hints of darker tints speckled about the surface just serving as a general highlight on a busy page. Stray stragglers near the frayed edges of the lawn and walkway were chattering in their own small, respective groups, unmarked plastic cups gripped in the hands of many.

But, despite the cheery countenance of both his friend and the people currently giggling near them at the moment, a need tilted to the right of his instincts delineated Misaki's wish to flee, flee the alien unfamiliarity the college campus posed for him. He neither felt comfortable with nor wanted to continue to stand near the students of such a prestigious school, despite his hope to one day become a part of its general populace.

But even with such a thought at the front of his mind, he knew that escape wouldn't be quite so easy to partake in; even so, the call of his bedroom and sweet, solitary confinement beckoned him away from the sidewalk leading up to the door. He'd made his choice.

He took a baby step backwards and then another, trying to pull his friend away from the temptation of the party rife within. Unfortunately, Shinobu was quite strong in contrast to an otherwise lithe appearance and held steady as any rock, an unmovable mountain to Misaki's weak burst of wind. No way Misaki was going to dissuade him in that manner.

"Misaki," Shinobu sighed deeply. He swiveled about to place his hands on the shorter chocolate-haired brunet's shoulders, and shook Misaki slightly as he recounted his plans for their evening together with the longsuffering air of someone having the burden to expound on some abstract concept that should have been understood the first time around. "If you honestly believe me of the mindset that we should turn around just when we got here, you've got another thing coming. Now, my older sister invited us here for a reason, and I intend to find out. Not only that, but this is a college party, and it's about time you left your brother's house and had a little fun."

"You're only saying that because you somehow heard that track star, Miyagi Yoh, was going to be here."

"That, too," Shinobu beamed terrifically at Misaki. His grin vanished just as quickly as it had appeared as he sighed once again and rested his forehead against his friend's own, slate grey eyes meeting forest green orbs, encompassed between feathering eyelashes. "C'mon, please. For me?"

Misaki frowned at Shinobu before pushing him away.

"Don't do that."

"Do what, this?" Shinobu nuzzled Misaki's cheek gently before dancing out of reach of suddenly violent gesticulations. "You won't catch the gay from me, you know."

"That's not my concern, and you know it," Misaki narrowed his eyes, feeling slightly hurt at Shinobu's assumption. "It's nobody's business but your own if you like... guys that way. But I also know that this entire idea is nuts. And anyway, what will my older brother think if he finds that I haven't come home by half-past nine? He'll panic!"

"Relax." Shinobu stated, arms crossed in front of his chest. He bent forward slightly and faux-whispered the slyly spoken, "I told him you were staying at my house tonight."

"What if he calls your parents?" Misaki's eyes widened as he gasped out in shocked disbelief. His hands were now firmly clasped on his hips, his position argumentative in itself. "I could get in serious trouble."

"Your brother is not your parents," Shinobu said. When Misaki stilled in shock at the insensitively spoken words, Shinobu shook his head and placed his hands on Misaki's arms. "You know I didn't mean it remotely like that, Misaki. But you know that it's true. You need to live a little. Think of this as just a way to get your blood pumping and an easy smile going on your face."

"But," Misaki whined. He allowed his gaze to wander over the brunet's shoulder again, spying with his little eye a sky darkening with the promise of the coming sunset. The lights within the house were growing more distinct as a strong wind whistled quietly by, wrenching their clothing into dancing along with it. And despite how Misaki's mind shaped that exact moment into a sign that they should not, in fact, walk into the house, the sudden chill made it seem all the more inviting.

Misaki stared at the house for a long, silent moment as he rubbed at his arms' prickly goosebumps. Shinobu, next to him, seemed on the verge of rocking back and forth on his heels, in a movement uncharacteristic of the usually stoic brunet. And when Misaki nodded his head in reluctant approval, shivering at the cold that was just settling in with the dusk sweeping over the campus, Shinobu's eyes belied a familiar excitement twinkling in his mischievous gaze, betraying his frankly serious expression.

"Fine," said he, giving consent to their upcoming misadventure. Before Shinobu could start to dance a celebratory jig, however, Misaki stepped back out of reach and wagged a finger at him. "But we leave the moment we meet up with your sister. I'm not leaving you there, and neither are you leaving me. This is unknown territory, and we don't know what could happen to us otherwise.

"Now," he held out a hand. The sudden light from an overhead lamp caused the blond highlights in Shinobu's hair to glimmer a glistening gold, and Misaki nearly held his breath at the sight. Shaking himself mentally - because, no, dammit - he continued. "Let's go."

Shinobu let out a whispered word of thanks to whatever deity was watching over him before gripping Misaki's hand in his own tightly. With a promise to allow Misaki to choose whatever they would do next, he led the other teen to the front entrance.

Suddenly, the chill caught Misaki again and he wondered at the heavy, ominous weight pushing its way into his chest. With a physical shrug, he inhaled and exhaled steadily before stepping over the threshold, turning a wry smile on a female greeter at the door who reeked of perfume.

Because, really, what could possibly go wrong?


	2. Gaucherie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shinobu and Misaki transverse the room, and inevitably meet some new individuals.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta: Hetabee
> 
> Warning(s): Cursing, alcohol (though no underage drinking), and embarrassed!Misaki.

The interior of the fraternity house had been exactly as Misaki had imagined it would be. People were plastered all over the place, leaning against walls or across tables, swiping chips from snack bowls. Near what appeared to be a lounge area, a select few were chugging drinks to the booming cries and cheers of their raving audiences.

It was terrible, and he already wished he could go home.

"Shinobu, where is your sister?" Misaki inquired nervously, his gaze restlessly leaping about from one picturesque scenario to the next. He visibly flinched back with an uncomfortable cringe as a drunk man, one of the chuggers he'd seen as he'd walked in, began to gesticulate wildly. The man's raven hair and shirt were unmistakably drenched in sweat or some other mysterious liquid, and in his grasp: an unmarked plastic cup. The liquid within it appeared to be sloshing back and forth precariously enough to warrant landing on both the floor and some of his companions, whom were giggling at whatever nonsense he appeared to be slurring. Misaki hoped none of it got on his shirt.

"Relax," Misaki barely heard Shinobu sigh. When he turned to glance at the teen's face, Shinobu's eyes were flitting over the faces within the crowded room. At this, Misaki tightened his hold on the sandy-blond's forearm, keeping close lest they somehow managed to get separated from one another. It'd happened before in less densely packed areas, and he didn't want to risk it happening again here. "She's around here somewhere."

Wordlessly, Misaki bobbed his head in reply, though Shinobu never saw, so intent was he on his current task. They slowly inched along the perimeter of the crowd rather than try to make their way through the unofficial dancefloor near the speakers where couples were dancing closely together or even grinding to whistles and catcalls. Misaki couldn't help but feel embarrassed for them and almost immediately averted his eyes from that particular section of the party.

Wonderment at when Japanese morals had so thoroughly left the spirits of the university students lead him to a cursory glance around the room, and he soon located a majority who wore nervous expressions reminiscent of his own, a few seeming to be laughing uncomfortably at the uncouth behavior of the select few. He felt relief at that, realizing it was probably the drink that had them acting so wildly in public.

It was in the midst of those musings that he suddenly found himself shoved and sent spiralling out into the depths of the crowd, unbeknownst to an obviously concentrating Shinobu.

"Fuck," Misaki uncharacteristically cursed, landing on the linoleum floor with a muffled  _thud_. He immediately scrambled to a standing position in an effort not to get himself trampled upon by the unwary. When another push caused him to bump into someone else, however, he found himself frozen for a few shocked seconds. A second or two passed before he finally shook himself out of his stupor and turned to meet the, no doubt, righteously accusing eyes of the stranger he'd rudely asserted himself upon.

Misaki, though, found his own eyes widening incredulously at the person who stood before him. Was the man foreign? He must be, for he had an absolutely startling bone structure. His strong jaw line seemed to have been taken out of paintings, the painstaking efforts of the most pedant of virtuosos. Or maybe he was even a gorgeous American actor fresh from a blockbuster film?

The man's eyes were a deep shade of violet that were certainly called something reminiscent of "Izmir" or maybe even "Forget-Me-Not"; the sort to manage hypnotism with just a fraction of a second, the time it takes to unconsciously blink. Misaki felt his mouth drop open in a hopeless action denoting his desire to somehow compile and form words. But his lips and tongue refused to listen to the signals the nerves within and surrounding his brain tried to desperately send out.

Mister Hollywood Actor seemed to be entirely fine with Misaki's mistake, though the flaring of his nostrils held the likeness of a ringed bull's after being prodded and teased into a blind rage.

"Excuse me, I am so sorry," Misaki confessed. He wrung his hands in front of himself nervously, head slightly ducked in apology.

The man's gaze turned inquisitive, and his violet eyes held a glimmer of some emotion hidden within their depths.

"And just who are you?" his voice came out in a low, rumbling purr; at least, to Misaki's ears. "I've never seen you around here, before."

"Oh, um," Misaki felt flustered in such a way that he'd never felt before. He took a deep breath in and then exhaled. "I'm Takahashi Misaki. And you?"

"Usami Akihiko," the man crept in closer, head tilted to the side. His fringe fell over his eyes in short, flaxen blond waves. It was then that Misaki quickly realized that he was uncommonly nervous. The palms of his hands were gathering sweat at an alarming rate, and his heart seemed to have lurched in his chest, beating to a rhythm all its own. For some reason, just being around the other man had him reacting in ways he'd never felt before.

It was disconcerting... and weird. Definitely weird.

Misaki consciously shrugged off what he could, and then looked about the room. The DJ at the front, centered between two shut windows, had a single headphone placed on his left ear, the other dangling in neglect off to the side of his right cheek. He called out over the music blaring through the large, black stereo speakers placed selectively around the room, before suddenly dropping the tones of the popular rock song to a low hum.

"Yo, yo, yo," he called out in warm, excited tones. The bright smile on his face spoke of laughter and cheer, as if music was just another one of the highlights of his day, taking shape in life. "How do it do, Mitsuhashi University?"

The people around Misaki turned in unison, all calling out in various volumes, ringing in their greetings to the positively grinning face of the DJ. Misaki winced at the sheer volume, not bothering to shout out his own greeting. It felt wrong, in a way, to join in with a crowd of people he didn't even go to school with. Usami, across from him, wasn't joining in with his own calls either, to which Misaki looked up at him with a question in his eyes.

The man merely shrugged it off with a mysterious twitch in his lips, and Misaki felt his curiosity towards the man increase ten-fold. Who was this man, this Usami Akihiko? He was obviously of Japanese descent, if only based on the name he gave when asked, but with the air about him of someone... better. He gave off an air of aristocracy, of perfection, and Misaki felt that glimmer of something inside him grow and throb at the very thought. Just as he was about to ask yet another question, he heard a familiar voice call out for his attention.

"Misaki!" came Shinobu's voice, booming to his left. He swivelled about only to find a pair of thin, pale hands wrapping around his own tanner arm, tugging him away from Usami. Usami, when Misaki turned to apologize for his sudden departure, had a hand clasped firmly across his mouth, shoulders shaking, eyes sparkling with the warmth of mirth. Misaki bit his lip at the sight and turned his attention back on Shinobu, no longer resistant to the insistent pull of his longtime friend.

They were heading steadily in the direction of a corner near the buffet table. A large group to the left was surrounding the chip bowl, chuckling and staring off at the dancers at the center of the room. Camera phones were held at differing angles, trying to capture the moments of what they seemed to feel was a good time.

When Shinobu finally came to a full stop, Misaki's attention was so absorbed in his surroundings that he ended up crashing into the other's back.

"Ow," Misaki grumbled, massaging the ache in his nose. After patting Shinobu's back in sympathy and apology, Misaki looked up and was met with the sight of Shinobu's older sister, Risako, dressed far more casual clothing than he'd ever seen before. It came as a more than slightly shocking sight to a Misaki who had only previously seen her in various types of formal wear, including her former high school uniform. By her side stood a taller man with pitch-black hair, cut to a drastically short length, tussled in such a way to appear stylish in Japan's standards. "Hello, Risako. It's been a while."

"Yes, it has indeed been quite a long time since we've last spoken face-to-face, Takahashi-kun," Risako murmured in greeting, eyes flitting from Misaki to Shinobu silently. Misaki shuffled in discomfort at her probing gaze. It was after a few seconds that Risako finally held out a hand in front of her friend, allowing a relieved sigh to escape from Misaki at long last. "I was just about to introduce my fiancé to Shinobu when he suddenly fled," she sent a pointed glare in Shinobu's direction, to which he merely lifted an eyebrow in mocking. "This is Miyagi You. Miyagi, this is my little brother, Takatsuki Shinobu, and his classmate, Takahashi Misaki."

"Miyagi You, the track star?" Misaki sputtered incredibly. This was the man Shinobu had hoped to at least catch a glimpse of? Under further inspection, Misaki could see why Shinobu was interested. In the purest of heterosexual observations, of course. Misaki held that he could gauge the attractiveness of a man, and Miyagi You was indeed quite handsome. His shoulders were broad, his clothing tight enough to complement what was, no doubt, a very fit athletic frame underneath.

"Hah," Shinobu chuckled bitterly, halting Misaki's perfectly objective observations. "Already got someone lined up to play dutiful husband, Risako?"

"Shinobu!" Risako gasped in outrage.

"Well," Miyagi-san finally said in amusement, leaning his hip against the snack table. "It's a pleasure to make your acquaintances."

Misaki bowed carefully in respect, responding in kind. Shinobu stiffly did the same, though his expression remained carefully blanketed with boredom. Just a few minutes prior,  _he_  had been the one rushing Misaki to attend this party, and now he was suddenly this steady pillar of stoicism. If Misaki hadn't known how excited he'd been before, lurking just beyond the boundaries of the fraternity house's lawn, he could've easily assumed Shinobu to have been the reluctantly attending friend.

"So," Misaki mentally winced at his own rejoinder, knowing that his choice of phrasing wasn't quite the way to break the ice or avoid an inevitably awkward silence. "How have you been?"

Risako broke into a short, to the point, extrapolation of her time at the university, to which Shinobu wandered off to grab some chips off the table.

"Excuse me," Miyagi-san bowed his head slightly in apology. "I'm feeling a tad peckish. While I'm over there, would you two like me to grab you any chips, or maybe a drink?"

"Uh, no," Misaki stammered at the man's overly formal speech, though he felt more puzzled over the sudden departure of Risako-san's boyfriend than anything else. The woman merely smiled thinly, shaking her head in the negatory. Miyagi-san nodded his own head at the both of them before sidling over to where the party food was, and to where Shinobu had fled to recollect himself, as far as Misaki knew.

"So," Misaki drew out the word, folding his arms in front of himself. Risako looked vaguely amused, though she kept her own peace for a few, silent seconds. After a while, the silence itself seemed to grow too stifling for even her and she leaned against the wall.

"How's school been going for you?" she inquired, hands clasped. Misaki grinned at her roundabout way of trying to start some sort of small talk as they stood in wait of both their companions.

"It's been fine," Misaki said in reply, rocking on the balls of his feet. He was growing somewhat antsy and cursed Shinobu for leaving him alone with his sister. He felt a sense of sadness come over him and furiously wished to go home, at that moment. "I've been working to get my grades up. Nii-san says that Mitsuhashi only takes students with certain averages, and it's been tough. I can't seem to find anyone to tutor me that doesn't also need the time for themselves to study for their own exams."

"Hm," Risako leaned her head against the wall, several strands of her dark hair dropping off her shoulders to meet the force of gravity. "There are a few professors here who are sponsoring a program - run likewise by this fraternity - for tutoring. I can see about asking around for you, if you would like."

Misaki practically beamed at her, his smile wide and bright. "That'd be wonderful!"

"In fact," she continued, straightening up to glance over Misaki's shoulder. "I remember seeing someone on the committee over... there!"

Misaki followed the direction of Risako's finger to where a brunet stood near the opposite side of the room, surrounded by a group of men and women. What caught his attention, however, was the visage of the silver-haired man he'd spoken to earlier. He was hanging by the brunet's shoulder, a smile crossing his face now and then.

"C'mon," Risako beckoned Misaki from several centimeters away. He practically gawked at her before shaking his head.

"I'm fine," he stated, taking a steady step backwards. If he had cause to, he would leave. "No need to worry over me."

"Really?" she tilted her head to the side, before sighing at Misaki's eager nod. "Fine. But if you ever find the nerve to ask, just let me know."

It was in those few seconds of tense and reluctant agreement that Shinobu and Miyagi-san finally came back, both carrying plates full of snack foods and a drink each. Surprisingly, Shinobu's face seemed to be ecstatic about something or other, and Miyagi-san didn't rightly recognize the significance of such a thing.

On most other occasions, Shinobu held himself with an attitude conveying recalcitrance, somewhat hanging on that edge of stubborn and truculent. He was probably less of a fan than Misaki's of social gatherings, so the notion that he'd come here for something like a frat party just to speak to his older sister? Misaki knew that there was a larger picture than the one he'd managed to fit with displaced puzzle pieces as far. After all, it had been one of the many waning reasons why he had reluctantly agreed to set foot in, let alone actually join, the college party.

"He was practically growling when I proclaimed that I wasn't in the mood for his shit," Shinobu recounted within earshot as he came closer, attention entirely on Miyagi-san. Miyagi's smile was wide, and he seemed nearly on the verge of laughter at Shinobu's matter-of-fact tone.

"Shinobu!" Risako scolded, once again, though her nervous smile belied her need for some sort of pleasant conversation. Misaki felt disheartened at having been such a profound waste of time, and wondered if he should've taken hold of the opportunity to be introduced to that man from before rather than exchange a few terse words with his best friend's older sister.

His train of self-hatred, however, was derailed by the low, rumbling voice of Usami Akihiko-san.

"Hello, again," the man said, to which Misaki squeaked and spun around, sequentially. Usami took a swig of his red drink nonchalantly, acting as if he hadn't just scared the living hell out of Misaki. Meanwhile, the brunet held a hand to his chest and breathed in and out, trying his best to calm his racing heart.

"Hi," was all an irritated Misaki could manage. The man was tall and practically towered over Misaki, no trace of anything but an undetermined amount of amusement lighting up his dark eyes. And while Misaki was absolute shit at writing, his poetry had always been depressing and god-awful, he felt that the best way he could ever truly come close to describing them was as pools of colored waters, ones deep enough he could practically submerge himself within them. Shaking his head intolerantly at his strange thoughts, Misaki managed to, miraculously, get the next few words out without tripping over them:

"Bastard! You scared me!"

"Oh," Usami started, eyes gliding from the top of Misaki's cocoa hair to the tips of his sneakered feet. "Is that so? And to what degree do you believe this fright to have been?"

"Well, it was definitely more than just a little," Misaki continued slowly, nodding his head in agreement with his own assessment. "You made my heart palpitate."

"Palpitate?" Usami took a step closer, causing Misaki to look up even further at the man, a frown crossing his face in distaste of his own short stature. An eyebrow raised at Misaki's reaction, though Usami's words were instead focussed on Misaki's usage of the word.

"I happen to like that word more than race," Misaki shrugged his shoulders whilst taking a discrete step backwards. He couldn't think very well, for some odd reason, with the man's aroma blanketing his senses. It was a heady mixture of the cleanliness of soap and some sort of peppermint-based cologne. He vaguely thought, with a minor huff of amusement at himself, that if he'd ever held the slightest inclination to hate the scent of cologne before, he definitely wouldn't ever feel disgusted with it on this man.

And wasn't that something? Misaki had to wonder if he'd managed to get himself drugged with a laced drink at the party, before he recalled that he'd not even touched any chips or drinks.

Then Usami lifted up Misaki's chin and his breath was just brushing Misaki's left cheek and then he was shivering from the odd warmth of a few puffs hitting his ear and-

"Misaki," Shinobu's hand grabbed his own arm and pulled him away from the predatory silver-haired man. "What's going on here?"

"Oh," Misaki could hardly remember what words were or how to form them, but he finally managed with the effort to say: "This is Usagi-san."

The man in question burst out in a disbelieving sort of laughter at Misaki's sluggishly stated words, and Misaki himself blushed a shade of red so bright he could actually feel the heat of it spread to his ears and neck.

"Yes," the man bobbed his head once his chuckles had slightly abated, wiping at a few tears of laughter from the corners of his eyes. "That's me. I'm Usagi Akihiko."

"I-I mean," Misaki stuttered, feeling out of his depth at such an intense feeling of... he couldn't exactly pin down anything else but the raw embarrassment at his own clumsy actions. "I meant to say..." he cleared his throat before turning to look at Shinobu and stretching out a hand in Usami's direction.

"This is Usami Akihiko-san. Usami-san," he shot a pointed glare at the man to halt his chuckles, though they started up a bit more at Misaki's expression. "This is my best friend, Takatsuki Shinobu."

Shinobu glanced quizzically at the both of them before muttering to Misaki, "Risako is going to drive us back to my house in a few minutes. She's tired of mingling."

Misaki felt a panic seize him. What about Usami-san?

Seeing the younger one's expression of discontent, it seemed, Usami-san rummaged in his pockets for a napkin and pen. After scribbling his name, phone number and address on it, he handed it over to Misaki with the grace of a tiger. Misaki felt dumbfounded at what lay on the napkin and glanced back over at the man.

"You sure?" he asked without a trace of his former innocently flirtatious manner and startled embarrassment.

"I'm absolutely positive," the man nodded his head guilelessly, a calming smile tugging at his lips. Taking the initiative, he pecked the brunet's lips chastely before waving a farewell at Misaki, turning around and making his way back over to rejoin his classmates.

Misaki, meanwhile, was now not only embarrassed at having stumbled over his words and proclaimed the nearly feline man "Mister Bunny", but had effectively just had his first kiss stolen by a... by a pervert. A gay pervert. A queer. And Misaki wasn't even... anywhere close to being one himself. He liked girls! He so did! With their curves and pretty faces and soft hands! Not only that, but in public! What kind of Japanese citizen did that?!

With a stream of curses he doubted Shinobu realized he had known before now, Misaki recalled what Risako had said about those university-hosted tutoring sessions and smiled with a calm highly in contrast with the need of vengeance that so fervently surrounded the plans he was already mentally forming.

Yes, he might as well try to better his grades while he was at it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the kudos, as far :3 Hopefully, you'll continue to enjoy this fic as it proceeds on!


	3. Blooper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Misaki and Shinobu have a heart-to-heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning(s): Cursing, slight bit of internalized homophobia

If one were to have to name a single flaw in Misaki's plan... well, it would be the apparent perpetrator of the plot, itself: Misaki.

You see, there was a key difference between Shinobu and Misaki beyond the semantics of the thing: Shinobu was simply more extroverted than the latter. And while Misaki was certainly not okay with how overly submissive he appeared to be in public, a real poster child for good Japanese mannerisms, it was to no true fault of his own. At least, that would be how others would assess it to be. Misaki, in contrast, wondered if his behavior weren't of his own doing; a self-saboteur ever since the day of the Incident that Changed Their Lives Irrevocably.

And while Shinobu decided to keep to himself most days, despite his blatantly clear desire to go out and wreak havoc on society, Misaki didn't. He just found himself unwilling to do so. It wasn't as if the teen was terrified of people, or of going outside. He wasn't a phobe by any means; it was simply that he didn't want to, he couldn't, and that was that.

Shinobu and Misaki seemed to complement each other seamlessly, and it wasn't very often at all that Misaki wished that they were more alike than not in behavior.

It was as he pondered over whether he should call Risako and take her up on her offer that it seemed, simultaneously, both the front door opened and his mobile phone rang.

"I'm home," his brother, Takahashi Takahiro called out, voice muffled through a combination of closed door and distance from the front landing. Though he felt a quiet urge to run downstairs and greet his older brother properly, Misaki instead immediately scrambled for his phone, the device having fallen off the bed as soon as his feet had hit the carpeted flooring of their Western-styled house.

A quick glance down at its dark screen revealed that, just as he had spoken of the devil, thus he had appeared. Shinobu was calling.

"Misaki?" Shinobu asked after Misaki had answered the call, voice indistinct and crackling slightly over the bad reception. "Where are you?"

"At home," Misaki replied swiftly, moving his neck side to side slowly, trying to work out a crick that had been developing due to his awkward positioning on the bed. He opened the door and stepped out into the hallway, finally giving his own standard greeting to Takahiro as the brunet climbed up the staircase. The man's slippers slapped against the floor as he made his way up and headed to his own room, after having had waved at his teen brother in response.

"Did you tell him about the party, yet?"

Misaki lowered his hand slowly as he frowned at the wall, wondering why Shinobu was asking questions he already knew the answers to. Wasn't really like him. "Of course I told him about the party. You know our policy on secrecy."

"Yeah, yeah," Shinobu murmured off-handedly. "A secret kept is a wrong done, or whatever the phrase is you guys seemed to have invented.

"What I really wanna know is how he reacted."

"He scolded me," Misaki started, recalling the memory with startling clarity, a grin quirking up at the corners of his lips. He leaned his head back against the wall silently, observing as a bird flew freely outside his window near the bathroom door. "But then he smiled this little half-smile, as if he were actually secretly happy I was out late at night, sneaking out to go to parties with you."

Shinobu chuckled at that. "Probably because you're finally acting the part of the normal, adjusted teenager."

"Do all normal, adjusted teenagers go to parties held on university campuses?"

"And make out with university boys, too, while they're at it."

"What?" Misaki paused, confused. Any outrage he would've held at that comment seemed to disappear into a nonexistent state as he tried to process what Shinobu had just revealed. "What do you mean by that? Did you... do something with someone while we there?"

"Noooo," Shinobu trailed off. Misaki could practically already see the impish smirk making its way across the brunet's face. "But I do know of a certain high school student who would've loved to do so to a certain university student..."

"What?" Misaki tried again, squinting at the bird as it landed on a branch and poked its beak at its dark features.

"Misaki," Shinobu, at first, groaned at his friend's responses, as if Misaki had been struck dumb overnight. But then his tone turned secretive. "Look, we both know you got that mysterious foreigner's phone number. We both know he pecked you on the lips. And we both know you're about dying to call him."

Misaki glanced back at Takahiro's door, as if expecting the man himself to walk out to ridicule him on his bad life choices. Decision made, the brunet walked back to his room and shut the door, throwing himself on his bed.

"I'm not... that  _way_ , Shinobu. And you know that."

"Hey," Shinobu protested calmly. "All I'm saying is, he certainly wanted more than what was currently being offered on the table. And from the way you were gazing at him with those large, doe-like eyes of yours... well, so did you, if only you knew how."

Misaki didn't even want to deem that incongruent statement with a response, it was so beyond the realm of possibilities in relation to him. Where did his usually private friend go, and why was he trying so desperately hard to set Misaki up with this other guy? This older man? A man, in general? Is this what happened when you were gay? Did you suddenly found yourself searching for these unreal, so subtle they weren't actually there, nuances in other men's behavior in order to... engage in depraved sexual acts with them? Or was it a matter of patience and conversion? Was being gay some sort of cover for a cult? Was Shinobu a cult leader?

"Are you some sort of secret gay cult leader?" Misaki asked, and then wanted to smack himself for doing so.

"What?" Shinobu sounded genuinely shocked at that, before he broke down laughing. "I... I don't - give me a second."

As the laughter continued on for a few moments longer, Misaki grew more embarrassed at his actions.

"Alright, alright," Misaki grumbled at his friend, shifting the phone from one ear to the next. "I get it."

"Where did  _that_ come from?"

"Well," Misaki started, crawling backwards and inaudibly sighing when his back met the cushioning fabric of his pillows. "It's like you're trying to make me be... gay, or something. And then I got to thinking about how cult leaders converted people into followers, which lead into gay guys being cult leaders..."

"Misaki," Shinobu's voice suddenly had a weird, bland tone to it, and Misaki narrowed his eyes at the wall, in place of his friend's face. "There is no 'gay agenda,' you realize."

"No, I don't realize." Misaki said, scrunching his mouth to the side in a parody of a frown. "You've been on me for a while now about guys and crushes, even when I don't have them. I'm straight!"

"No, you're not!" Shinobu finally cried out. A long silence hung between the two as they processed what Shinobu's outburst meant to his opinion of Misaki's behavior; one in bewilderment, the other in embarrassment.

"I can't do this over the phone," Misaki sighed, reaching up to massage the place in which a headache would soon make itself apparent. "Can you come over real quick?"

"Sure," Shinobu said. "I'm sorry, I'll be there soon. Bye."

"Bye," Misaki said, in turn, before hanging up the phone and flopping over onto his left side. What was Shinobu on about? Since when did Misaki have the slightest inclination towards men? At all? It was as he continued to ponder that question that his forest green eyes soon strayed over to, and subsequently locked on, a picture frame that had been left sitting atop his nightstand ever since long ago. Reaching over, the brunet picked it up and lay back on his back, staring up as he held the photo aloft over himself.

It showed what had once been the typical average, happy family; two brothers, one mother, one father. The lot of them were smiling goofily up at the camera, the oldest boy with a silly cone-shaped hat on his head with the words, "Happy birthday!" splashed across it in bright lettering. On his right stood his little brother, Misaki, getting ready to blow out the boy's candles himself. A couple feet above him stood their mother, her hands steady on Misaki's shoulders, as if she were trying her best to restrain him in his excitement. On Takahiro's own left stood their father, who merely had his arms tossed around his family's shoulders, as happy and content as could be.

Sighing shakily, Misaki brought the picture frame back down to his chest and wondered why.

* * *

Several minutes passed into nearly half an hour before Shinobu finally made it to the brunet's apartment, skipping up a few stairs at a time instead of using the elevator in his haste. A cursory glance down the hallway lead his feet to a familiar door, the nameplate neatly displaying the name, "Takahashi" in bold, upraised lettering.

He banged his fist on the door and waited silently for the sounds of footsteps to soon follow. It was as Shinobu felt his patience begin to wane as seconds passed by without due answer that he rose his hand in order to bang on the door once again. But before he could do so, the front door opened and Takahiro's kind face appeared in the space where the brunet's fist would've hit reinforced wood.

And Shinobu had so wanted to hit the door again.

"Hello, Shinobu-kun," Takahiro greeted, opening the door wider and stepping aside in order to allow the sandy-haired teen entrance. "How are you?"

"Sorry for the intrusion," Shinobu murmured. "I'm doing fine. And you, Takahiro-san?"

"I just got home from work," the man answered vaguely, waving off the question with a nonchalant wave of the hand. "Misaki should be up in his room, if you're looking for him."

"Thanks," Shinobu said offhandedly as he beat a hasty retreat up the steps, his need to see Misaki so great.

"Misaki!" he called out as he headed towards his friend's room.

"Come in," the brunet drawled lazily, sitting up swiftly as Shinobu entered. For a few seconds, only panting breaths met his ears and he peered curiously at the boy's outward appearance - hair somewhat mussed, cheeks flushed a pinkish tone, chest heaving slightly - before inquiring, "So, you gonna stand there and breathe, or are you going to explain yourself?"

'And Misaki is in a snarky mood, now. Great,' Shinobu thought at his friend's query. 'Just what I needed: a sarcastic defense mechanism.'

"What would you do if I were to just stand here and breathe?" Shinobu answered as soon as he'd been able to catch his breath properly.

"I would send you out and wait in silence until you managed to act like a human being," Misaki remarked. He pat the space next to him on his bed in a bid for the other boy to sit down beside him. "Now, explain yourself."

Shinobu sat down quickly and picked at a bit of fabric on the brunet's bedspread for a few seconds before taking another deep breath, turning around to face the other boy, and stating, "I think you're in denial."

"In denial?" Misaki chuckled incredulously. "Pull the other one, why don't you?"

When Shinobu didn't even bother to rise to the brunet's semi-insult, Misaki stared at him in a complex mixture of truculence, hurt, and curiosity.

"What could make you possibly think I'm in denial?"

"Well," Shinobu started, recounting the many, many encounters and events in which the brunet had acted in an exceptionally campy, flamboyant manner. "Do you remember when we last went to Marimo Books?"

"Yeah..."

"You bought all the plushies you could manage to?"

"They were Za Kan plushies!"

"Misaki," Shinobu glanced at the brunet in exasperation. "What possible use could a variety of adorable plushies have to a straight, seventeen year old boy, such as yourself?"

Misaki seemed to be panicking at that.

"There is no judgment here, Misaki," Shinobu quoted from a western television show he'd once seen in Australia. "Only love."

"Take your love and shove it," Misaki grumbled, throwing himself back on the mattress. He picked up one of his stray plushies and held it to his chest, sending a most spiteful look in Shinobu's direction. "What else?"

"There was the time we went to that teddy bear amusement park."

Misaki waited a few seconds before he looked back at Shinobu, waving a hand in a gesture meant to signal elaboration. When even that didn't get him to continue, Misaki grunted and said, "And...?"

"And nothing," Shinobu rolled his eyes. "Once again: what possible use could a teddy bear amusement park have to a straight, seventeen year old boy, such as yourself?"

"I didn't see you complaining when you found a stand selling panda merchandise," Misaki shot back.

"Well, excuse the faggot for happening to have a love of pandas."

At that, Misaki's green eyes deepened in color and he at once clipped, "Don't say that."

"Say what?"

"That... that word," Misaki practically growled. "I don't ever wanna hear you put yourself down like that ever again."

"We've talked about this," Shinobu sighed. He wavered for a moment before settling himself in the same position as Misaki on the bed, taking the older boy's hands in his. "It's my way of trying to combat the abuse. Not only that, but I'm also trying to dissociate the word from its common derogatory use. It's just a word, now."

Misaki's big eyes roamed the expanse of Shinobu's face, and after seeming to find whatever answer or confirmation he was searching for, closed them and rubbed his cheek against his pillow.

"I just don't like it when you hurt yourself."

"It's not really hurting myself," Shinobu said thoughtfully. "It's just rote desensitization."

They both glanced at each other for a few seconds and smiled, before Shinobu grew serious again.

"You understand why I seem to believe you're in denial, though, right?"

"But I'm not!" Misaki protested.

"It's not only been just those few incidents, Misaki," Shinobu shook his head. "It's the way you look at guys when you think no one will notice. I've seen you blush and get flustered easily when someone you seem honestly interested in gives you any sort of positive attention.

"And the foreign guy, remember? You were practically falling all over each other and flirting shamelessly. And it hasn't been the first time I've seen some dude become completely dazzled by you."

"I don't want to be gay, though," Shinobu heard his friend murmur. It practically broke his heart, truth be told, though he had never been the usual victim to tears at kicked puppies or tragic sob stories; really, it was hearing such a dejected tone in his oldest friend's voice that nearly ripped him to shreds that did the trick. "What do I do if Nii-chan doesn't accept me?"

"He loves you," Shinobu said matter-of-factly. "I highly doubt he'd let something as ridiculous as your proclivity towards men get in the way of family. You've all the other's got, remember?"

"I guess," Misaki muttered, cuddling the teddy bear plushie close to himself. He looked down at it and smiled softly, raising a hand to brush at its fur. "So..."

"So, what?"

"Do you honestly believe Usami-san has a thing for me?"

"Are you shitting me?" Shinobu asked rather vulgarly. At Misaki's dirty look, he shrugged apathetically, not in the least apologetic for his use of language. "Did you see how he looked at you? I'm not partial to poetic words, but it was like he was dehydrated and you were the only source of water in his near vicinity."

Misaki blushed brightly at that. "No, he didn't."

"Yes, he did."

"That's impossible," Misaki growled at his friend. "What possible reason could someone as... as him look at me like that?"

"Misaki," Shinobu groaned, rolling over onto his back and flinging an arm to shield his eyes. "You cannot be even remotely serious."

Misaki ripped the brunet's pale arm from his eyes and stared down at him mutinously. "And why not?"

"Because, if I didn't value our friendship, I would fuck you myself."

"Shinooobuuuu," Misaki moaned at that, falling back on his bed in surprise and embarrassment. "You can't say things like that. It's so weird!"

"It's not my fault," Shinobu sputtered, sitting back up."If anything, it's your parents' and their genes'."

"I'm not attractive in the slightest," Misaki sighed to himself. "There really isn't much of anything going for me."

Shinobu shook his head furiously at that and didn't let a single centimeter of thinking guide his actions as he straddled his friend suddenly, pinning the boy's arms on either side of his head on the bed covers.

Gazing down at Misaki, he said, "Do you really want me to go on and tell you every single detail that would attract anyone to you, or is this position embarrassing enough?"

Misaki began squirming far before Shinobu had managed to finish his sentence. "Get off, me."

"Admit that you're attractive."

"Never!"

"C'mon, Misaki," Shinobu leaned his head down and breathed gently into his friend's ear, smirking in satisfaction when that seemed to induce a complete cease to the brunet's movements. "Admit iiiiit."

"This isn't making me change my stance on the subject," Misaki whimpered, straining his head to the side in an unconscious bid for more sensation on his ear and neck. He bucked his hips once more, trying to uplift his friend and throw him off to the side. However, as always, Shinobu was much stronger than most would give him credit for.

"How about your stance on the other one?" Shinobu asked, gritting his teeth back at the shiver of arousal that was quickly making itself apparent.

"What other subject?"

"Your sexuality," Shinobu grunted, picking himself up and sitting back on his legs. Misaki lay sprawled below him, confusion deeply etched into his expression. Aside from his obvious bewilderment, a blush that had begun on his cheeks had spread to his chest and ears, from what Shinobu could see of the skin that had been revealed in their playful tussle. His chocolate colored hair was in disarray, strands littering his pillow and face in what appeared to be a dark halo of sorts.

"I-" Misaki started, throwing his head back in frustration at the emotions that his friend was forcing out of him. "I guess I am... gay..."

Shinobu let out a whoop at that, fist pumping in the air. "I did it!"

"Uh, Shinobu?" Misaki began uncomfortably.

"Hm?" the boy asked, preening.

"Can you get off me?"

Shinobu himself blushed at that, having forgotten what he had been doing prior to Misaki's reluctant announcement of his revealed sexuality. He rolled off his friend and stared up at the ceiling.

The silence hung between them, once again, though this one of relative comfort rather than the tension-tinged awkwardness of earlier. Shinobu was content at what he'd managed to do, having been at his wit's end for some time over Misaki's constant and irrefutable denial of his true feelings towards other men in general. It had seemed that, no matter how much he pushed the envelope, his friend would always be stuck at the same path, static rather than dynamic.

"Are you going to call him?"

"I have no idea," Misaki murmured.

And Shinobu left it at that.

**Author's Note:**

> (1): When I went to translate the letters in Google, apparently I came up with Eo̱s (Εως) which means "up" in Greek? I thought it was interesting, to be honest XD


End file.
